Ma, It’s Dark Here

Ma, it’s dark here

The candies are hanging beyond reach

I can only see the ceiling

The girls are outside laughing

And I only lay down here dreaming


Ma, it’s dark here

I haven’t seen the sunshine since last spring

My tin soldiers are marching

And I am still laying down here dreaming


Ma, it’s dark here in the valley

The storm has broken the electricity

I am in the dark of darkness

I see no lights coming in

I am in the deepest tunnel without a torch

Ma, when can I be out of the valley?


Ma, it’s dark here

Without windows I can not see

Cold winter soon will invade me

I need your touch


Ma, it’s dark here

My tongue is freezing

My feet are numbing

They told me all the poets eventually


Will be buried densely

And sure, there is no money

The poems they wrote will be in the trash


Ma, it’s dark here without your touch

I will be just another mummy in the Death Valley



* My mother used to hang all the candies in a basket to the ceiling because she doesn’t want me to be poisoned by my addicitons. I was a sick child, gazing into the ceiling was all I could do back in those days, laying in bed and dreaming. With only tiny windows, the room was dark and truly like a prison cell without much light coming in. In my memories, most of the time those fantasies were scary.  In the coldest winter nights, mom warmed up my cold freezing feet with her body and held my all night long.  Without my mother, I could not survive those brutal and unhappy days in China. Now, I am in the deep valley of my life, those childhood feelings came back again. Will she be there for me again? Can she understand now what I am about to do with my life? How I wish she would know.